El fin. I would post this all in Spanish, but a lot of you would have to translate it, so English it is.

4 months go by a lot faster than I ever coud have imagined. Before I left I was always told of how studying abroad will change your life, how it is such an experience. It all sounded cliche to me. I have traveled my whole life, never for 4 months at a time, but still spent time away from home and without my family or friends. I figured this wasn’t going to be much different. It still amazes me how wrong I was.

Tonight is my last night in Spain. I will wake up at 4am and get on a bus to the airport. I feel as though the significance of the changes I have made while here will not truly become apparent until I am back in the States. However, this does not mean I cannot identify with some already. For a start I feel so much more grown up, which I can attribute to all of my experiences here. The main one being John. I have always been independent but now even more so. The most prominent change is probably maturity and with that comes various other small factors and changes. It is hard to describe something so internal.

Spanish culture is amazing. It is something I will definitely miss. After being here for 4 months, one adapts to this new way of life. Part of me thinks I don’t want to live in American culture anymore. My host mother is fabulous, in every sense of the word. Her fashion sense as well as her personality. She truly was my mother for the time I was here and I consider her as part of my extended family. I thank her for everything she has done and given me.

Of course what I will miss the most is being in Spain, but second to that I am going to miss my friends, mainly my roommates, Emma and Elizabeth (Liz). I knew both of them before coming to Spain and we all had requested to live together. Over these 4 months I have gotten to know them so much more and find out what wonderful people they truly are. I don’t think I have ever laughed so much in a semester! Every meal conversation is full of laughter, and I wish a lot of them could have been videotaped! (to use for my Disney audition of course!). We could talk about anything and I knew that they were always there for me. There was never any judgement for being who you are with them, and I believe that is a mark of a true friend.

Emma- You are so beautiful just like Gwyneth Paltrow….or is it Cameron Diaz. Wait! Penelope Cruz, that’s it! I bet you are happy to be leaving Siberia, although New England probably isn’t much warmer right about now. When Tyra comes out with a new cycle (cause you know she will) I expect to be able to rant about it with you. It will also be difficult to point and laugh at the Hufflepuff on the count of 3, the effect really isn’t the same when it is only one person doing it. You have taught me so much during our 4 months together, like how to eat a banana, and use the potty. I am so glad you came to love me and saved me from all those bitches ruining my life. I hope you get everything you want for Christmas, like Hermione Granger, and a rocketship! It has been real, from the east to the west! You better eat of a lot of food this holiday season so at least we can look fat together! I love you food buddy! Oh! Try and remember to feed all the Joe’s in your closet… and maybe let them out every now and then It has truly been amazing getting to know you and I am going to miss you!

Elizabeth (liz)- I am so happy you showered today! First time in 8 months! Actually I was so happy that I danced around the room like David Bisbal! (although I am lacking in the curly hair department). I hope you will be able to read this message being as I fed your computer to Hormi (not like you have wireless in your house under your musically deprived rock)……………………………………………………………………………..oh I am sorry I went to go check the window because I could have sworn I heard “Summer Nights” playing outside. I am going to miss Trampy Tuesday and the way everything matches, or how you sing songs when you lose things! I will have to paint my nails a new color everyday, just to keep your memory alive! Who am I supposed to play beauty salon with?! We must also figure out this joint custody with Darren…oh I mean our lamp! I think if we keep dressing like twins, we wont confuse him. Remember jeans, black v-neck, sneakers and scarf! It was amazing having you as a roommate and I will miss you! I love you!

I am sure there are a ton more of inside jokes I left out, but I guess that means we have to keep in touch so we can creater new ones! I love you both and in the words of Emma “it has been real”.

Sometimes decisions made for the best, can often feel the most wrong. But its for the better right?

April 12, 2008. That’s the day we first met. It was fate that the only open seat was on the bench next to me. August 28, 2008. Move in day. We spent that whole night together, and soon we were best friends. September 15, 2008. You turned my ring around and became mine. With you, things were different. You made sense, as simple as that. There really are no words for it. Everything with you was easy. There were rough patches of course, but nothing we couldn’t work through together. For almost 2 years it was that way, until July 2010. I was going to Spain and you were going to London, making it work overseas would be our hardest challenge yet. Was it the right thing to do? yes. Was it the easy thing to do? no. Deciding to break up and then coping with it, that is our hardest challenge. I had to learn to let you go. While I may have loosened my grip, I never entirely let you go, nor do I think I can. Love does that to you. Listing off all the struggles would take forever, and probably be as long of a list as all the things I have learned from this. You are already back in the States, and I come home tomorrow. We will spend the holidays with friends and family. January 15, 2010. That’s the day we will both get back on a plane headed for Copenhagen. We will have 4 months there together. Whether we get back together or not, is up to fate. Fate brought us together and I pray it doesn’t keep us apart. I miss you. I love you. I will never give up hope.

Always, all ways.

Have you ever looked up at the stars and felt so small? As if the ground your lying on just temporarily disappears? How the stars just seem to absorb and understand your thoughts, and how they magically seem to answer everything, without actually answering anything at all? As you gaze up at the glittering darkness you become hypnotized and tricked into thinking that you might actually finally know the meaning behind things. However we will never know the meaning of our lives, all we will learn is that it’s hard. Just at the point you think you’ve got it all figured out, you wake up to find the rules changed overnight. Surprise! But you’re not alone, we are all just tiny plastic pieces moving along a cardboard board as destiny rolls the dice in the game of life. Throughout our lives there will be things that change us, challenge us, scare us, try to break us down and tear up our confidence. Things that will make us mad and others that will makes us sad and feel worthless and not good enough. Sounds like a lot worth living for right? But then there are those moments sometimes big and sometimes small that somehow seem to make it all worth it. Kinda crazy how it all works…

And here is where I share all of those moments; the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly. So here is to wherever life may take me and enjoying every minute of it!